


Just Bros being Bros

by InsaneJuliann



Series: The Evolution of Buddie [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pre-Relationship, oblivious eddie diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneJuliann/pseuds/InsaneJuliann
Summary: It's totally normal to kiss your best friend on the cheek. Eddie has no idea why everyone keeps giving him looks and thinking there's more there.All these things that people point to as evidence there's more than friendship - sure, Eddie's never had a friend he's as close to as he finds himself with Buck, but that doesn't mean anything. Not really. It's all totally normal, bro behavior here.Isn't it?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: The Evolution of Buddie [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730287
Comments: 107
Kudos: 780





	Just Bros being Bros

**Author's Note:**

> I'm continuing to blame [tarialdarion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tarialdarion) for this. My joke-title for my word doc while writing this was "Just Bros being Bros, Kissing Cheeks" and she loved it enough that I had to keep some aspect of it. (To be fair, I thought it was hilariously explanatory for the gist of this fic.)
> 
> For anyone wondering, I've included the internalized homophobia tag more to be on the safe side than anything. Eddie's thoughts are a lot like what I remember thinking about being bi after an adult told me it "wasn't real" when I was fifteen (within the same few minutes of me learning about it even being a thing). It's basically just - explaining away anything that may not have been straight as just normal, "everyone does it" kind of thing. I wanted to err on the side of caution.
> 
> Same 'verse' as my other fic, but you don't really have to read it to get or enjoy this one. I'd like if you did, but I won't make you lol.

Eddie was in a hurry.

He’d been asked to come in to cover someone else’s shift, and he’d said yes because Chris’ birthday was coming up and the extra money couldn’t hurt. He’d said he’d be there as soon as he could, hung up, and realized that Carla wouldn’t be able to just come watch Chris, since she had family visiting. Pepa was out of town. Abuela had plans.

Eddie groaned and dropped his forehead against his bedroom door, mumbling curses.

He didn’t need to look at his phone to be able to dial Buck. He left his forehead against the door, eyes closed, and only stopped mumbling curses when Buck said, “Eddie?”

He sounded a little groggy, voice rasping a bit. Eddie wondered if he’d woken Buck up. It was a little after nine in the morning, maybe Buck had stayed up late the other night after their shift.

“Hey,” he said, abruptly feeling guilty. “I’m so sorry man, but I need a favor.”

“Anything,” Buck said, sounding more awake.

Eddie swallowed a sigh. He was sure Buck had said he couldn’t help, but hell if Eddie could remember it. Buck always seemed to be ready to drop anything and help. Eddie tried not to take advantage of it, though sometimes he wondered if he actually was managing to or not.

“I got asked to cover a shift, and I need someone to watch Chris. It-“

“Yeah, of course. I can be there in like thirty minutes. Maybe – you know how traffic is,” Buck said with a laugh.

“It’d be kind of late that I get off,” Eddie warned.

Buck just laughed. “I know how shifts work,” he teased. “It’s not a problem man, I love hanging out with that kid.”

He really did – once Eddie had managed to get it through Buck’s head after the tsunami that yeah, he really fucking _did_ trust Buck with Chris, it had only seemed like they hung out more than ever. Usually Eddie got to tag along.

“Yeah, okay. I’m really sorry-“

“Stop it,” Buck said. “Get off the phone with me and get ready. I’ll be there soon.”

So Eddie had let Chris know that he needed to go in today after all, and that Buck would be taking care of him for the day. The little frown that had appeared on Chris’ face initially changed into a bright grin and whoop of joy. Eddie laughed.

Then he’d rushed to shower and grab his things, and Buck had arrived in the middle of that – Eddie hoped he hadn’t broken too many traffic laws – and Eddie had misplaced his damned phone somehow since hanging up with Buck.

Chris and Buck were still in the hallway near the door, Chris in Buck’s arms and the two of them having a very animated discussion about what they could do for the day. Eddie finally found his phone on the kitchen counter near the fridge, shoving it into his jacket pocket and checking he had his keys and his wallet and mentally running through his bag again.

“Okay, be good,” he said, checking his phone to see what traffic looked like. There seemed to be a delay on the usual route he took to the station, so he’d have to take an alternate one possibly.

“Love you dad,” Chris said, leaning back from Buck to throw an arm around Eddie’s neck in a hug.

He smiled, pressing a kiss to Chris’ cheek, one to Buck’s, and called back, “Love you too!” on his way out the door, jogging to his truck.

He’d gotten to the four-way stop at the end of the block before he realized it though.

He face felt hot. Like he was blushing. Buck had looked a little flustered, Eddie thought, though he’d not said anything. Eddie didn’t think he had, at least. He groaned, closing his eyes for a brief moment before opening them and continuing driving.

It’d been kind of just a reflex though. He usually kissed Chris on the cheek on his way out the door, and if Abuela or Pepa were holding him, he kissed them too. They were family, he loved them. He’d done it to Carla once or twice too, especially if she was saving his ass by coming in last minute or taking over breakfast cause he was running late.

And Buck was – well, Eddie considered Buck as good as family. So it wasn’t that weird. Not really.

Well, maybe in that Eddie hadn’t done it before and hadn’t realized he was doing, had done it without actually thinking about it. But that just showed how much Eddie really meant it when he called Buck family.

He pushed it aside once he got to the station. It wasn’t that big of a deal anyway. They were best friends; it was totally normal to kiss your best friend on the cheek. The only reason it seemed weird was because he was overthinking it.

Eddie locked the door behind himself, leaning back and letting out a breath. It was sometime after eleven, the house was dark and quiet. It hadn’t been a bad shift, but a non-stop one. He wanted a hot shower and to fall into his bed, and he wasn’t sure if he wouldn’t just skip the shower at this point.

As he passed the living room, Buck stirred on the couch, lifting up partway and blinking at him.

“Hey Eddie.”

“Hey,” Eddie said back quietly. He paused and leaned one shoulder into the doorway. Buck sat up the rest of the way, running a hand over his hair and then the back of his neck. Like he was nervous. Eddie raised a brow. “Anything happen?”

“Nah, everything was fine,” Buck said immediately. “We ended up going to the movies, got lunch and ate it in the park. He suckered me into reading him three chapters.”

Eddie laughed quietly. “Thanks again.”

Buck waved him off, shaking his head. “I already told you, it’s never a problem to watch Chris. Highlight of my week.” Buck rose from the couch, stretching, and started folding up the blanket he’d tugged from the back.

“You’re welcome to stay,” Eddie offered. “Chris would be thrilled.”

“He’d be thrilled for pancakes,” Buck said wryly.

All Eddie could do was grin and shrug. “Hey, you’re the one that always makes them.” They laughed. Eddie walked into the living room, putting a hand on Buck’s arm to stop him. “Seriously though. It’s late, and you were sleeping. Just stay the night, Buck.”

Buck hesitated, tongue darting over his bottom lip, eyes shifting away and head dipping. Eddie didn’t know why Buck got like this sometimes, shifty and uncertain. Sometimes Eddie could talk him out of leaving, and sometimes Buck insisted he was intruding or bothering them and left no matter what Eddie tried.

“Maybe _I_ was looking forward to a pancake breakfast,” Eddie teased.

Buck huffed a soft laugh, glancing up at Eddie. “You Diaz boys. Using me for my pancakes.”

“Well Chris can’t use the stove yet and I’ll just burn them….”

He laughed again, grin on his face. His head lifted, and Eddie grinned back, sure he’d somehow done something right there. “Go take a shower, Eddie, and go to sleep. You look beat.”

Eddie groaned, letting his head fall back. “I swear, it felt like half of LA just decided to do the stupidest shit today.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Buck chuckled. He clapped a hand to Eddie’s shoulder, squeezing. “Go on, I promise not to dart out the front door the second you’re not looking.”

He gave Buck a mock-suspicious look, and Buck held up his hands innocently and smiled like he’d never lied in his life. Eddie snorted, nodded his head, and slipped his hand from where he still had it on Buck’s upper arm, to the back of his neck and squeezed.

“Alright,” he murmured. He might skip that shower. Shower in the morning. He _was_ pretty fucking tired. He fought back a yawn, pulling Buck by his neck in for a brief hug.

He did think of it this time, but he’d do it for any of his family, he thought. And Buck was family.

When he pulled back, he brushed a quick kiss over Buck’s cheek. He watched Buck closely as they separated, waiting to see if Buck would be upset or something.

He was a bit pink in his cheeks and stammered a bit when he said “good night,” but he didn’t call Eddie out on being weird or something, so he took it.

Eddie pulled off his clothes and yanked some sweats on before collapsing into his bed. He didn’t bother to pull the covers out from under himself, just tugged one of his pillows into a better spot and shut his eyes.

He woke up in the morning to the sound of Chris’ crutches stopping at his door. He lifted his head, still feeling like he could do with more sleep, and smiled when Chris poked his head around the door.

Grinning back, Chris came in and climbed into the bed. Eddie pulled him closer, hugging his son against his side and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“Morning, buddy,” he yawned. He tilted his head enough to see the bedside clock. It was a couple minutes past 7:30. “You just wake up”

“Uh huh,” Chris said, his little arms wrapping around Eddie. “Did Bucky go home?”

“Nah, Buck should be on the couch. I told him I wanted pancakes.”

Chris giggled. “With chocolate chips,” he insisted. “And whipped cream.”

“Sounds more like dessert than breakfast,” Eddie mused.

“It’s _Sunday_ , it’s gotta be special.”

“Well, who am I to argue with logic like that?” Eddie grinned and kissed Chris’ head again. “Alright. Go see if your Bucky’s awake, I’m gonna shower real quick.”

“Okay.” Chris wiggled out of the bed, grabbing his crutches again, and headed back to the hallway. Eddie sat up, rolling his head on his shoulders, and grabbed some clothes before heading for the bathroom. From the living room, he could hear Buck’s and Chris’ voices, so he knew he had some time.

Chris was sitting at the table, stirring a bowl of batter with dark shapes in it – presumably chocolate chips. Buck was beating something in a bowl on the counter, and he shouldn’t have been able to hear Eddie approach but looked up and grinned at him. His hair was a little messed up, flat on one side and sticking up in the back. Eddie grinned back at him.

Apparently, Chris won on the whipped cream front too, because Buck had somehow made homemade whipped cream. Eddie had no idea he’d even had the stuff to do that.

He said as much, which made Buck laugh, eyes crinkling. “That’s because I got it last time we went grocery shopping. I probably know what’s stoked in this kitchen as well as you do, Eddie.”

Fair point. Eddie shrugged, dipping a finger in the whipped cream and darting out of reach when Buck swatted at him.

“Hey, I had to make sure it tastes good. Right Chris?”

Chris nodded seriously with him and Buck snorted, failing to hide the smile on his lips. “Stay out of my kitchen.”

“ _Your_ kitchen?” Eddie laughed. “I don’t know, I mean, this is my house, doesn’t that make it my kitchen?”

Chris apparently decided to switch sides because he was shaking his head. “Buck’s kitchen Dad. He’s making pancakes, it’s his kitchen.”

Buck shot Eddie a smug kind of smirk, and Eddie laughed. “Alright, I can see when I’m overruled.” He sat down with Chris, who pushed the mixed bowl of batter over the table when Buck asked if it was ready. Eddie and Chris watched Buck making them pancakes, Chris sometimes asking Buck questions like how did he know when to flip them, how did he flip them so good, and suggesting maybe they should test the first one to make sure the batter was good. Buck raised a brow at Eddie, lips pressed against a laugh. Eddie just grinned back, putting his arm over the back of Chris’ chair and shrugging.

“Taste testing is very important,” he offered.

It made Buck snort a laugh at them, but he also absolutely gave them the first pancake to eat while he made the others, so Eddie was calling it a win.

Chris spent most of breakfast that morning bouncing between telling Eddie about the movie he and Buck saw the other day to trying to wheedle Buck into staying for the rest of the day too.

“But who will make lunch if you leave?” he tried first, which made Eddie laugh almost as hard as Buck did. Chris pursed his lips at them.

“I wanna use my skateboard, and you said I had to have two people help with it, still,” he tried later, eyes wide as he looked between Eddie and Buck.

When that didn’t get a definitive answer, Chris seemed to settle – he started talking about one of those wildlife shows about different animals and how they lived, and how vets took care of them if they were sick or hurt.

“Maybe I will be a vet,” Chris mused. “I can see the whole wide world _and_ save animals.”

“Maybe,” Eddie chuckled. “But then when would I get to see you, mijo?”

Chris tilted his head, frowning in thought. “I guess for Christmas, so Santa knows where to leave my presents.”

Buck was clearly amused by this, the grin on his face wide and almost painful looking. “What about me then huh?”

“You can come for Christmas too,” Chris said with a shrug. “Cause lots of animals are endangered and I’ll be very busy helping them.”

“You’ll probably won’t get to have a lot of pancakes then.”

Chris eyed Buck. “I’ll make you teach me before I leave, so I can make them myself.” He nodded, like that settled things, and ate two more of the last few pieces of his pancakes, pushing them through the half-melted whipped cream at the edges of his plate. Then he looked up at them and stated, “We have to go to the zoo so I can start learning about the animals now.”

Eddie exchanged a look with Buck. “Sure, maybe we can go next weekend.”

“Nope,” Chris said, “I looked it up yesterday on Buck’s phone. The zoo’s got a program today on lemurs, we can’t miss the lemurs Dad.”

Clearly, Chris had been planning this for more than the couple hours he’d been awake. Eddie wondered if Buck was being roped in because he was already there, or if Chris would have made Eddie call him and ask if Buck had actually gone home the other night.

“Ah,” Buck said, then stalled out, glancing at Eddie and to Chris and then back. He had that shifty look about him again and Eddie worked not to frown. “I uh. I should probably be heading home, bud,” he hedged.

“You got plans?” Eddie asked. Buck was avoiding his eyes. Eddie leaned forward on the table, trying to catch them. “Buck?”

“Buck, you told me yesterday you were gonna be bored all weekend anyway.” Chris frowned at him.

Eddie raised a brow. Buck was looking between the two of them, mouth opening and closing twice before he sighed, looking rueful. “I guess I did, yeah.” He glanced at Eddie. “But if you two wanted to go, I could just-“

Whatever look Eddie’s face made must have gotten the message through to Buck because he sighed. But he was smiling, so Eddie didn’t worry much. “I guess I’m going to the zoo today.”

Chris cheered, fist pumping the air once before he jammed the last few bites of his pancake into his mouth all at once. Clearly, he felt like they needed to hurry now.

Eddie beat Buck to the sink with the dishes and just stared at him in challenge when Buck tried to clean up too. Rolling his eyes, Buck stopped and leaned against the counter next to Eddie. In a quiet tone, he said, “I can make up an excuse to head home if you want.”

“Did I give that impression?” Eddie asked, casting a brief look at Buck, who sighed and let his head fall back. His hair was still a mess, and there was stubble on his jaw that usually wasn’t there. Eddie’d seen Buck in the morning plenty of times by this point, but the stubble was for some reason catching his attention. Maybe it was how the sunlight hit it, made it more obvious.

Buck’s head tilted to the side, still hanging back. “We’ll need to stop by my place. I didn’t bring a change of clothes.”

Eddie shook his head. “Nah, I think I have one of your shirts in my room.” At Buck’s confused frown, he added, “I don’t know man, it was in my wash and I keep forgetting to give it back.”

“Alright,” Buck said after a moment. “Mind if I shower? Shave?”

Eddie nodded his head towards the hall, saying, “Go right ahead.”

Buck nodded, pushing up from the counter, and went off.

The zoo was packed, not that Eddie expected otherwise. Sometimes Chris walked, and sometimes he insisted on being on Buck’s or Eddie’s shoulders. They did catch the lemur show for the day – Eddie saw that it was every other Sunday, and he wasn’t sure if Chris had known that or not really – and Eddie got the damned “move it” song stuck in his head after they played it at the beginning and end of the half hour.

Chris had a blast though. By the end of the afternoon, he had a red mouth from a slurpee, a stuffed lemur from the giftshop clutched in one hand, and was slumped on top of Buck’s head.

Buck made them a late lunch when they got back home. They ate it on the couch together, Chris between them, watching one of those cartoon shows that Eddie was vaguely familiar with. He knew it was one he’d given permission for, but hell if he could remember what it was actually about.

Eventually, Buck got up. He stretched, and smiled down at them. “I need to be getting home,” he said, and Chris looked away from the TV to frown sadly.

“Ah, but Bucky, don’t you wanna have dinner with us?”

“Not if your dad’s cooking.”

Eddie barked a laugh. “Excuse you. I can in fact cook.”

Chris grinned at him, and Buck made a face that clearly said he didn’t entirely agree with the point. Eddie flipped him off with the hand on the back of the couch, out of Chris’ sight. Buck laughed.

“Dad doesn’t cook on Sundays! We go to bisabuela’s!”

“You’re welcome to come,” Eddie threw in, before Buck could start on something about not wanting to intrude. Buck gave him one of those painfully soft smiles that made something in Eddie clench and twist.

“Thanks for the invite, but I really do need to get home.” Buck sounded warm and sincere, so Eddie nodded back instead of pushing. He’d already taken up so much of Buck’s weekend after all. Buck probably wanted to rest with what little time of it left he had.

Eddie picked Chris up as Buck headed into the hall for his keys and to pull his shoes on. Chris’ head rested on Eddie’s shoulder as they watched him get ready to leave and walked him to the door.

“Better say goodbye for today,” Eddie prompted, hefting Chris a bit on his hip. He was getting too big for it – soon Eddie wouldn’t really be able to pick him up anymore, and Chris wouldn’t want him to. He barely let Eddie do it that much already.

“Bye Buck,” Chris said, leaning over to wrap an arm around his neck. He smacked a kiss on Buck’s cheek.

It gave Eddie a weird sense of almost déjà vu. It was like the opposite of the other night, when Eddie and Buck’s positions had been switched.

Eddie caught Buck’s eye when Chris was still giving him a last squeeze goodbye. Eddie licked his lips, raised a brow. Buck hesitated, just briefly. He licked his own lips, swallowed, but nodded an okay.

So Eddie, when Chris pulled back, gave Buck a kiss on the cheek too. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he added.

“Yeah. Tomorrow.” Buck smiled at him, head dipped a bit, before turning his gaze on Chris. He ruffled Chris’ hair before stepping out onto the porch.

Eddie and Chris followed, just to the steps, and watched as Buck headed down the walk to his jeep. He waved at them after starting it, and Chris waved back wildly enough Eddie had to tighten his grip.

That night as they ate dinner at Abuela’s home, one of Eddie’s cousins also over with his girlfriend, Chris told everyone about his ‘weekend with his Buck’ – about the movie and the zoo and how Buck had held him on his shoulders while he fed the giraffes. While Chris told Eddie’s cousin about how he was going to learn all about all the animals in the world and save them all, Abuela glanced at Eddie with a slight smile and raised brow. Eddie raised one back in question, and after a prolonged moment his abuela just smiled and reached over to pat his hand gently. Eddie had no idea what that was about.

They went home shortly after everyone finished eating, since Chris had school in the morning and needed to get ready for his bedtime. Chris chattered at Eddie during his bath about more plans he had as a world-wide animal saving vet. Eddie wondered if he could find any of those old shows about the guy who was always seeming to wrestle crocodiles to save them. Chris would probably want to move to Australia, but it’d be fun to watch together.

Chris demanded the lemur Buck bought him be in his bed that night when he went to sleep. Eddie had promised to send Abuela some of the pictures on his phone he’d taken that afternoon, when he’d shown them during dinner. Abuela’s favorite and the one she insisted she had to have was Chris on Eddie’s shoulders with one of his arms clutching Buck’s head close as they stood with a view of the elephants not too far off behind them. Chris had a huge smile on his face, looking like he was about to burst into laughter. Eddie sent some off to Pepa as well, sure she’d want to see them, before he plugged his phone in for the night and went to sleep.

“So what did you two get up to this weekend,” Hen asked during lunch the next day. She’d finished a story about her and Karen taking the kids to the beach, along with pictures of their foster daughter making a face like she was considering screaming while Denny was standing behind her in the sand damp from waves, holding her hands in his.

“We went to the zoo,” Eddie said, already pulling his phone out to find the best pictures. It wasn’t precisely a competition – or if it was, it was all in good fun – to show off who had the cutest kid pictures. Bobby rarely participated, though when he did it was with pride. Athena would joke about enjoying them ‘while they’re cute and with minimal attitude’.

Eddie flipped through to the one of Buck holding Chris while they fed the giraffes. Chris had been almost squealing with delighted laughter at the giraffe’s long tongue, and Eddie had gotten lucky on the timing of a photo.

Hen and Chim leaned forward across the table to see. Hen’s brows raised, and she looked up at Eddie and over at Buck next to him.

“We huh?”

Eddie hummed absently, pulling his phone back to find the picture of Chris all but plastered to the glass at the chimp exhibit. He offered his phone back out, and Hen took a moment to look away from Buck and at the phone. Eddie glanced over at Buck, but he was just eating his lunch.

He looked back at Hen, eyes narrowing a bit. He knew it wouldn’t be badly meant, but he hoped Hen wasn’t planning to tease Buck about coming with him and Chris to the zoo. Eddie didn’t want Buck regretting it or something, thinking it was weird – it wasn’t. If Buck started thinking that, pulled back from coming along – and Eddie sometimes had a hard enough time convincing Buck to tag along to things like that – it’d upset Buck and Chris both.

She looked up from the phone and caught his stare. A smile tugged at her lips and she sat back, taking a bite of her lunch. “Looks like you all had fun.”

“Chris wants to be a world-wide traveling vet,” Eddie chuckled. “I was debating if I should try to find some of videos of that show – you know the animal planet one with the crocodile guy?”

“Crocodile Hunter,” Buck said.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, grinning. It would be easier to find it with the actual name of the show.

“He’s going to want to go to Australia,” Buck chuckled, finally looking over at him, eyes crinkling.

“I thought of that, but he already said he’s going to travel everywhere and only come back to us for Christmas, so.” Eddie shrugged, smiling wryly.

Chim was looking between the two of them. Eddie looked back, raising a brow.

“You-“

“Maybe he’ll pick a favorite animal to specialize in and stay in one place,” Bobby interrupted Chim, looking up at Eddie and smirking. “Then you can visit him.”

Eddie scoffed. “I already tried at the zoo. He said it wouldn’t be fair to the animals if he only saved one of them.”

“He did,” Buck agreed, chuckling. “But I think I can win him over to saving the elephants.”

“Tigers,” Eddie disagreed, shaking his head. “He spent five minutes after that exhibit-“

The alarm went off. Everyone groaned, pushing back from the table even as they grabbed one last bite or drink. Bobby clapped Eddie on the back as he passed him.

It was back to back calls after that, with a short half hour break sometime in the evening before they were out on a car accident call that ran through and past the last hour of their shift. Eddie had shot Carla a text letting her know about the call, so she wouldn’t be worried or wondering where he was. She said it was no problem, so he didn’t worry about it beyond that. When they finally got back, though, Eddie hurried to shower and get dressed, already tugging on his shoes while the others were just coming out of the showers.

“In a rush?” Chim chuckled.

“Carla stayed late to watch Chris,” Eddie pointed out. “I don’t want her to stay longer than she has to – and I like putting him to bed,” Eddie added.

“Say hi for me,” Buck said as Eddie stood up, grabbing his bag out of his locker and shutting it.

“Will do,” Eddie promised, pressing a fast kiss to Buck’s cheek as he jogged out of the door, lifting a hand in a distracted wave to the next shift member’s he saw on his way out to his car.

Eddie didn’t think anything of it, not until the next day when Chim plopped down on the couch beside him and said, “So,” in a long, drawn out way.

Eddie glanced up from his book, brows raised. Chim was giving him a pointed look that Eddie had no idea what to do with. They stared at each other for a prolonged moment.

“You and Buck a thing now?”

“…No?” Eddie frowned. “What made you think that?”

Chim waved a hand in the air in some all-encompassing gesture. “You two went on a date to the zoo and you kissed him on the cheek?” he said, like it should have been obvious.

Eddie’s frown deepened. “We took Chris to the zoo, that wasn’t a date.”

Chim sighed, looking upward and shaking his head a bit. “Okay, sure, say I buy that – which I don’t,” he added, looking down and pointing at Eddie. Eddie looked at his finger and back to Chim, amused and confused still. “You kissed him.”

“On the cheek,” Eddie clarified.

“Yes!” Chim said. “That and this not-date over the weekend, and you two are practically in each other’s pockets all the time, and I swear Buck practically lives at your house eighty percent of the time-“

“We’re best friends,” Eddie interrupted, baffled.

“Eddie, you two are basically living in domestic bliss.” Chim gave him a pitying kind of look. “Domestic, romantic bliss.”

“He’s my _best friend_ ,” Eddie reiterated. “Best friends spend a lot of time together.”

“But the kiss-“

“Because he’s my best friend.”

“You don’t go around kissing Hen or I on the cheeks.” Chim was looking like he’d made some irrefutable point.

“Well yeah, but you two aren’t my best friend.”

Chim just stared at him, blinking. “Okay. Fine.” He drew himself up and leaned closer. “But Hen and I are best friends, too. I don’t kiss her on the cheek, and she doesn’t do that to me.”

Eddie shrugged, looking back down at his book. He wanted to finish the chapter, hopefully before the alarm went off. He was ninety percent sure he knew who the murder was. “Maybe you two aren’t as close as Buck and I are.”

“Yeah,” Chim said pointedly, a little louder. Eddie looked back at him, exasperated, as Chim continued, “Because you two are practically dating!”

“We are not dating,” Eddie said, laughing – it was laugh or be annoyed really at this point. Chim’s insistence was kind of annoying, but the expression he made when Eddie kept disagreeing was so dumbfounded it pushed the annoyance aside for amusement. “What are you going to say next, that we’re married or something? Going to call us work husbands now?”

Hen, walking by on her way to the kitchen said, “Who says we don’t already? You two are more married than Karen and I, I swear.”

Eddie snorted, shaking his head. “Seriously. We’re best friends – he’s practically family. I’m just lucky he’s willing to spend so much time with me and my kid, and that Chris loves him as much as he loves Chris.”

Chim groaned, falling back on the couch dramatically.

Hen shot Eddie a smile, a little wry and amused, but full of affection. “I’m not saying that friends can’t have that kind of close friendship, Eddie.” She sat on the arm of the couch with a cup of coffee, near where Chim’s head was. “But I’m gonna call it like I see it – you two don’t act like best friends, you don’t act particularly platonic. You act romantic.”

Chim sat up, gesturing at Hen in a “See?” kind of gesture.

Eddie shook his head. He looked back to his book, effectively dismissing the conversation.

Hen chuckled softly, getting up and patting Chim on the shoulder. Chim got up and followed after her, finally leaving Eddie in peace.

Of course the alarm went off just as his book was getting to the big reveal. Sighing, Eddie marked his place and tossed it aside, running down the stairs towards the engine. He hefted himself in after Buck, who gave him a big wide grin, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat – he must have been in the gym. Eddie grinned back, pulling on his headset.

Thankfully Chim and Hen seemed to drop it over the next few days – mostly. Chim still shot Eddie these pointed, wide eyed looks whenever he thought Eddie was acting any way he construed as romantic, such as the kisses to the cheek. Eddie gave them to Buck almost every time he left shift, sometimes when Buck seemed shook up after a rough call. Hen sometimes smiled and shook her head at Eddie, looking like they were in on some inside joke. Eddie supposed they were, since he knew that they thought he and Buck were dating, and Eddie knew they were just good, close, friends.

Chim brought it up again during a late night shift, leaning over the table and practically hissing, “You asked him to pick you up groceries on the ‘way home’ yesterday.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Chris wanted him to make cinnamon rolls next time he’s over.”

“For breakfast!”

“Yes,” Eddie agreed with a sigh. “Sometimes Buck comes over to make breakfast before we take Chris somewhere.”

“I think it’s cute,” Hen said. Eddie started to smile, but it dropped off when she continued, “It’s cute that you and Buck include Chris on your dates.”

Eddie groaned, but watching Hen and Chim high-five and laugh made a smile tug reluctantly at his lips. They were just teasing him, all in good fun.

Buck came up the stairs, texting at his phone. He nodded hello as he went straight for the coffee machine, filling a cup for himself. Eddie paused, glanced at Hen and Chim, and smirked.

“Hey Buck, make me a cup?”

“Sure thing,” Buck said, and pulled down another cup, adding only some creamer to it and not the mountain of sugar that went into his own. He set it down on the table as he walked by, and Eddie tilted his head back, grinning at him.

“Thanks. You’re the best work husband.”

Buck stumbled a bit, pulling his own cup from his mouth and coughing.

“You okay?”

“Yep,” Buck said. “Went down the wrong pipe. I’m fine. Um. You’re welcome?”

Eddie grinned and saluted him with his cup. He looked back to Hen and Chim, who were clinging to each other and stifling laughter. Chim had his head flat on the table, shoulders shaking; Hen had one fist shoved at her mouth and the other clutching Chim’s shoulder tightly.

“You’re so stupid and oblivious, it’s almost not funny,” Hen wheezed, trying to calm herself down.

Eddie frowned at her. “What do you mean by that? I was just playing along with _your guys’_ joke.”

“Oh honey,” Hen said, shaking her head and chuckling. “You’re hot and smart but you are so fucking blind.”

“What?”

She shook her head some more, pushing up and heading downstairs. Chim finally lifted his head and stared at Eddie with a very flat expression.

“You’re an idiot, and I refuse to lose to Bobby on this.”

“ _What?_ ”

Chim didn’t explain.

Eddie opened the door and laughed at Buck, grabbing his arm to tug him in. “You have a key!” he exclaimed. “Why were you knocking?”

Buck shrugged, looking sheepish. “Seemed polite, since I’m guessing you’ve already got company. I can-“

“Buck!”

“Hey buddy,” Buck said, grinning and crouching down to catch Chris. He stood up with him with an exaggerated groan, making Chris laugh and squeeze Buck tight.

“Buck, Buck, bisabuela and Tia Pepa are visiting! Bisabuela was showing me how to make tamales.”

“What, has she given up on teaching Eddie?”

“Ha, ha,” Eddie drawled. He followed behind as Buck set Chris down and Chris took Buck by the hand to drag him towards the kitchen. Eddie’s abuela and Pepa were sitting at the table, moving easily around and with each other to make each tamale. They had a system down, and clearly had for years. Chris wiggled into his chair between them, where he worked on putting in the filling. Sometimes he put too much or too little, and Abuela would show him again the right amount before wrapping that one too.

“Looks like he’s having fun.”

Eddie smiled fondly at the sight. Abuela looked up, saw Buck, and exclaimed “About time!”

Buck looked a bit taken aback, especially when she got up and came over to grab Buck by the arms, holding him there and looking him over critically. Buck shot Eddie a pleading, slightly worried look. Eddie just smiled and shrugged at him.

She tsked. “You need to eat. The tamales aren’t going to be ready for a bit, but I’ll fix you up a snack.”

“Oh, you don’t-“

She waved him off, walking to the fridge and calling back, “Edmundo, where did you put… never mind.”

“You really-“

“Best just give in,” Eddie interrupted quietly, nudging Buck’s side. “She’s going to feed you whether you say yes or not.”

Buck sighed, but he was smiling so Eddie knew it was fine. Buck went to sit in the one empty chair left at the table, while Eddie went and got him a beer from the fridge.

It was nice, Eddie thought, having most of his family in one place. Sure his parents weren’t there, or his sisters, but Eddie didn’t mind that too much. He’d had a lot of them always being around before the move, and while he was grateful for their support and help then, he still hadn’t entirely forgiven them for being so _unsupportive_ when he decided to move and stay in LA.

If he hadn’t, he never would have met Buck. Chris wouldn’t have another fantastic adult, who did so much to love and support Christopher that so many adults just wouldn’t or couldn’t do. To support Eddie as a single father. Their lives wouldn’t have been the same without Buck, and Eddie didn’t think it would have been as good as it was now.

Pepa nudged him, scolding him for his daydreaming and leaving Buck to “do all the work.”

“Buck always cooks for us!” Chris said cheerfully. Pepa raised a brow at Chris and turned it onto Eddie.

“I like to,” Buck interrupted, voice a bit quiet but not in a way that made Eddie worried. “But I’ve never made tamales before; I really appreciate you taking time to teach me.”

Abuela waved him off, and Pepa said, “We were going to do this anyway, and more hands make less work.”

It was true enough. Soon, they had plenty of tamales and Chris had dragged Buck to his room to show him his new books from the library about different kinds of wild animals. Eddie helped straighten up and clean the kitchen while the tamales cooked.

“I like your boy,” Abuela said, firm and approving. “He is a good listener, very good with Chris. And he looks at you like you are precious, like he will take care of your beautiful heart, nieto.”

“Abuela,” Eddie said, not sure what to really say. He wanted to object, he wanted to tell her to stop trying to embarrass him, he wanted to tell her that she made it sound like he and Buck were together romantically. It didn’t feel like when Chim and Hen tried to say it. He knew his abuela wouldn’t be saying it as a joke, would call it like she saw it – and it sounded a lot like she saw something there that just… wasn’t.

“Buck is a very good friend,” he settled on saying quietly, focusing on the counter he was wiping down. “He’s family.”

She hummed, and stood from her chair at the kitchen table. She took his face in her hands and gave him an intent look. Peripherally, Eddie was aware of Pepa in the background, standing near the tamales like they needed such close attention at the moment.

“You don’t need to guard your heart from him, nieto,” she finally said. “It is safe to love again.”

“We’re just friends,” Eddie said, voice quiet, almost pleading.

She nodded, giving his cheek a pat with one of her hands. “I know.”

She didn’t say anything more, but Eddie swore there was some kind of ‘but’ hanging in the air now.

Eddie hoped he seemed normal enough the rest of the evening. If he wasn’t, no one called him out on it. He caught himself second guessing a lot, holding back and trying to see what someone on the outside might.

Buck moved around the house as comfortably as his own. He knew where most of Eddie’s kitchen appliances were better than Eddie did, and he knew which channel had the cartoon show Chris liked to watch after homework and before dinner.

None of that really screamed ‘romantic’ to Eddie. It did say ‘family’. It said ‘familiar’ and ‘welcome’ and ‘home’. It said ‘comfort’ and ‘safety’ and it all told Eddie that Buck was there, would be there, wasn’t likely to up and abandon Eddie and Chris at any moment.

And yeah, okay. Maybe some of that seemed – like a co-parent. A partner. Like Buck was helping Eddie raise Chris, as if Buck was also Chris’ parent. And maybe, if Buck was someone else, a woman, Eddie would get why everyone assumed they were dating, from the copious amount of time together, the staying over and making breakfast and spending prolonged time doing activities with Chris together. From the kissing on the cheek to the easy physical affection to the way Eddie wanted Buck in his life as much as he could get him, forever.

But Buck wasn’t a woman. Buck was – not a possible romantic partner. He was a guy. He was Eddie’s best friend. He was….

Buck looked his way from where he sat on the touch, next to Pepa and Chris, who was showing Pepa how to play one of his video games Buck had gotten him after the tsunami, when the two spent time together while Eddie worked. Buck looked up, and noticed Eddie in the doorway and grinned, wide and bright, so his eyes crinkled.

Eddie’s mouth was a little dry.

Buck was his best friend, Eddie reminded himself. That was all. Eddie was only questioning and overthinking everything now because everyone kept insisting something was there that wasn’t. They kept insisting that Eddie was holding back or ignoring something or – or missing it.

Eddie was just – getting worked up over nothing. They were friends. Best friends. Best friends could be physically affectionate and involved in one another’s lives, it wasn’t that unusual. Everyone was just – thinking it was weird because they were both guys, and guys didn’t often get as close as Eddie and Buck were. Or they were usually less comfortable with it. Eddie didn’t know.

He wasn’t dating Buck. He and Buck were not romantically involved.

Eddie blinked, breathed in careful measured breaths, and reined in what felt weirdly like panic.

When that didn’t seem to quite work – he could feel his hands shaking a bit – he slipped away and into the backyard, sitting heavily on the edge of the porch.

Why was he freaking out about this? It’s not like – they _were_ friends. Buck was the best friend Eddie had ever had, which was saying something. It wasn’t like Eddie hadn’t had good, close friends before in his life. Just… Buck was different.

And apparently, everyone saw that, too, they just assumed that the difference was romantic in form.

Eddie hadn’t ever… he didn’t _think_ he’d ever liked another guy like that. He wasn’t sure if everyone was right and he liked _Buck_ like that. How did people just know that? How did they know they were feeling anything except deep friendship or…?

Because what Eddie felt for Buck now wasn’t like with Shannon, and Eddie had loved her. Their relationship had deteriorated, wasted into something awful by the time she left the first time. And he’d tried fixing it, conflicted because he couldn’t trust her (and it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, just stronger, and he didn’t want to assess that at all) but he still loved her, under all the anger. He’d tried, and it had seemed to be getting better and then – she’d left him. First by asking for a divorce, and then dying.

He was working through all of – that. With Frank. Once a month or so now, and he hated it but it did help. He could admit that he was angry at her about what had happened before she died, and that he was allowed to be.

But all of that wasn’t anything like he felt for Buck. Not even the beginning of his relationship with Shannon felt like whatever was between him and Buck. That had been intense and exciting and – fast. Obvious.

So didn’t that mean he wasn’t feeling any kind of romantic feelings for Buck?

Then why was everyone acting like it was clear as fucking day?

Abuela lowered herself down next to him, one hand resting heavy on his shoulder for balance. She patted it twice and then reached down and grabbed his hand, holding it between both of hers and squeezing.

“I am sorry,” she murmured after a few quiet moments. “I did not mean to distress you so much.”

Eddie shook his head. “You didn’t, it’s just –“ He didn’t know how to finish that, how to put all he was feeling into words.

She hummed. Eddie stared out at the yard, a couple of Chris’ toys scattered in the grass, the bush that was looking pretty huge and that Eddie had always kind of wanted to uproot and get rid of anyway. He’d never thought much on what to do with the yard, beyond that he liked it had space for Chris to play and a decently sized tree that offered some shade.

“How do you know that you’re even in love with someone anyway, and not just – family.”

He glanced over at her, seeing the smile on her face, soft and fond and nostalgic. “The ones you love should be your friend, too. Your best friend, that you trust most of any person in the world.”

“But – abuela, that doesn’t tell me how you know the difference between a best friend and a – a partner.”

She gave him a knowing kind of glance. “There is no wrong or right or one answer to that. You have to decide for yourself.”

Eddie looked back out at the yard. “You’re not the first one to think Buck and I aren’t just friends,” he murmured. “So what is everyone seeing that I’m missing huh?”

“I’m not sure what you are seeing,” she said after a moment. “But I look, and I see how he takes care of you and Christopher. I see how you trust him with your son more than almost anyone else. I look and I see love, Edmundo. Maybe it will one day be romantic love. Maybe you two stay good friends. Who can tell?” she shrugged, giving him a wry smile. “Stop hiding out here and worrying. Come inside and be happy.”

Eddie knew an order when he heard one, even if it was gentle and loving. Smiling a bit, he got to his feet, helped his abuela up, and went back inside. Buck caught his eye as he walked into the living room, raising a brow in question. Eddie shook his head, and after a moment where Buck just stared at him like he was debating pushing or not, Buck nodded and focused on his conversation with Pepa.

When everyone left after eating, Eddie kissed Abuela and Pepa on the cheeks, and they did the same for him, and Chris, and Buck, who looked as flustered as he did whenever Eddie did it.

They put Chris to bed, who sleepily protested how not sleepy he was and how he wanted to play a game with Buck.

“I’ll come by this weekend to play, okay?”

Chris mumbled his consent, grabbing his lemur and twisting onto his side. He was asleep moments later. Eddie smiled, brushing his hair aside and kissing his head before rising and following Buck out of the bedroom.

“Thanks for coming tonight,” Eddie said as they entered the kitchen. “Really.”

“It was fun.” Buck ducked his head down. “I like hanging out with you Diazes, you know that.”

“Yeah.” Eddie smiled slightly. The back of his mind was still turning everything over, and he didn’t realize he was frowning a bit until Buck nudged him lightly.

“What’s up? You’ve been out of it all night.”

Eddie sighed, shaking his head. “Nothing. I promise.”

Buck didn’t look entirely convinced. “You’d tell me, right? If something was bothering you – like before? You know you can tell me anything, Eddie, really.”

“I know.” He didn’t think he could tell Buck about this though. Not yet. Not when Eddie could barely even understand the shape of the problem, because it wasn’t how close he and Buck were. Eddie didn’t care about that – he just… he didn’t know what it meant yet, that everyone kept seeing more than Eddie thought was there. “Hey, look, we didn’t ever actually talk – I mean, you never said to stop or anything but-“

“Is this about the –“ Buck gestured at his face, a little pink.

“Yeah. I can stop.”

Buck was quiet, staring down at the floor. Eddie saw him swallow heavily. “It doesn’t bother me. Not really. I mean I don’t get why you’re doing it? Like. Um. Why…?” He glanced at Eddie, honestly looking confused and uncertain.

“You’re family,” was all Eddie could think to say. “You’re my family.”

Buck’s face was even more pink as he nodded, looking down again. His arms came up and folded, and it made Eddie feel like he’d mis-stepped somewhere. Did Buck not like that reason? Did he not want to be family? Did…?

“I just did it,” Eddie continued quickly, before Buck could say anything. Buck looked at him, that small frown on his face still. “The first time. Didn’t realize it until I was down the block, it just – happened. It’s how I leave Chris with family, with Abuela or Pepa.” He shrugged helplessly, trying not to let his eyes dart around the kitchen like they wanted to.

Buck shifted against the counter, turning so he was facing Eddie fully, leaning his body forward. “You’ve left me with Chris before though, and never done that.”

“I…” It was true. Eddie knew Buck was wanting to know what had changed, because nothing seemingly had between the last time and that time. Eddie didn’t know the answer to that though.

Buck was searching his face, for something, Eddie didn’t know.

“You let me,” Eddie couldn’t help but point out, feeling almost kind of desperate, like he was trying to prove something. He didn’t like the feeling.

Buck nodded slowly. “Yeah, Eddie. I did.”

It hung in the air between them, heavy and oppressive.

Eddie swallowed. “I can stop,” he repeated quietly.

After a moment, Buck’s expression softened from the intensity of before. He smiled, head tilting a bit with it. “Nah,” he murmured. “You don’t have to stop.”

“Okay.” Eddie was not going to think on the relief he felt. Not – not right then, at least. Maybe… later.

Buck watched him for a few moments more before nodding to himself. “Okay,” he echoed. He straightened. “It’s late, and I need to get home.”

Before Eddie could say anything, Buck was leaning in, brushing a kiss over _Eddie’s_ cheek. It was soft and brief, and it felt scalding.

“Night, Eddie,” Buck added, before he stepped back and walked out of the kitchen. Eddie followed behind him, weirdly disconnected, weirdly _stuck_ on that sensation of Buck’s lips on his cheek. Buck pulled his shoes on in the hallway, grabbed his keys and wallet from the bowl. He gave Eddie one last smile, small but bright, before he slipped out the door.

Eddie locked it behind him.

Maybe… he had more to think about than he’d originally thought.


End file.
